Let’s get personal

There is a silly picture of me at the end of this post, so please be patient . . . or just scroll all the way down, whatever.

I’m re-writing my bio. It’s not interesting except for maybe the throwing knives part and I haven’t done that in a while since I have kids. So I’ve been thinking about what to include and I’ve come to this major conclusion about who I am in real life and who I am online. This is the result.

Okay, so for the last year or so I’ve lived by these rules:

  1. Don’t shake things up on social media. People may disagree with you and begin a nasty feud.
  2. Be as neutral as possible in hairy situations.
  3. Don’t share anything from your private life.
  4. Don’t share your strong opinions.

I’ve prided myself on my social tact and I’ve been a version of me that is stripped of all personality. That is a direct result of the above rules. I haven’t shown anyone that they can relate to me. I have been too afraid to offend people to the point that I’ve completely cut out my personality. Well, those rules are getting broken. I’m no longer living by them. I’m going to be me. I’m going to show my personality.

I’m taking the fear of being rejected and I’m tossing it aside. I can’t make everyone like me if I have no personality. I can’t make everyone like me if I do, but some people will connect with me on a deeper level than I could have connected with them before.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not some hard-core chick with major “out-there” opinions. I’m still not going to talk about politics or religion, but I will talk about other things I care about and things that bug me. It’s not that I haven’t been me. I’ve just been a watered down version of me. Well, that is changing.

For example: I’ve never read 50 Shades of Grey or the other books in the series, but I do read the chapter recaps on Jenny Trout’s blog and I have nothing good to say about the series. Not one thing. I know I’ll torture myself if I read them. If this opinion alienates some of you, I’m sorry. I just can’t condone the behavior in those books–even if it is fiction. Spreading this ideal as some sort of marriage saver is dangerous and misinformed. Honestly, if your idea of a hero is Christian Grey, and your idea of a strong female is Ana Steel we just won’t get along anyway, so please don’t read my books.

Something that has a direct line to my heart is children. They scared the hell out of me because I am one of those people who just can’t stand the thought of a child in danger or a neglected child. Scary movies with kids in them? Screw that! No way am I watching that. If a child is in danger, I just can’t handle it. I convinced myself at a young age that I wasn’t going to have kids because of this. Of course, that didn’t work out, but I’m so glad it didn’t. I have two beautiful sons (Ages 1 and almost 4), and even though I worry about their well-being 24/7, I would do it all again just to have them in my arms everyday. But my limit is two, even though I wanted a girl so bad, it’s probably better this way. Boys are tough.

And so, this is me:

  • I’m scatterbrained, creative, and occasionally organized.
  • I love my life with my husband and kids.
  • I don’t like to cook, but I love to eat.
  • I love Dr. Pepper and use it as a motivator to get housework done.
  • I day dream, I have crazy dreams when I sleep that inspire me, and I’m living my dream.
  • I’m easy going. There isn’t much you can say that I’ll take a major offense to (although some topics are touchy).
  • I have a sense of humor, and I love Family Guy, American Dad and Robot Chicken.
  • I got all the partying out of my system before I turned 22.
  • I spent a short time of my life really into metal and even had friends in a metal band called Leave None Alive. (Oh, and I might have dated the guitarist at one point.)
  • I love Angelina Jolie and think she is the best actress ever. Jennifer Aniston isn’t bad, but I’m glad that Brad and Angie are together.
  • I collect and throw knives and I’ve shot guns before. Don’t mess with me. Part of this is because I’m obsessed with Angelina Jolie and she throws knives in Mr. and Mrs. Smith.
  • I’m afraid of water over my head and driving a car. (Must be all the car accident deaths in my family. Not really sure about the water thing though.)
  • I liked Twilight and I only read the first Harry Potter book because it was read to us in 6th grade English class. I’ve never seen one of the movies all the way through. Doesn’t mean I hate it, I’m just not necessarily interested.
  • My grandma and grandpa were actually just my aunt and uncle, but they were the only grandparents I ever really had.
  • I really miss my Newslab class sometimes. Newslab is what we called the newspaper staff class in high school. I was in that class every quarter for 3 years because I was one of the students who just loved it. The Bulldogger was my life and you bet I still have every issue my stories appeared in sitting in my side drawer.
  • Sometimes the stress of being the most responsible one in the house gets to me, but I can’t blame my husband. He has to be the most responsible one at his job for about three days straight, and that tops my stress times three.

Anyway. This has been all about me, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want to get to know you. I’d love it if you tell me something about you in the comments below. One last bit of advice: Don’t strip your personality away like I did. Be you!

Just for fun, here is a random picture of me that I’d never normally let anyone see. My now-husband, then-boyfriend took it on our way to Snowy Range for some snowblading. It’s like rollerblading, but with short skis and in the snow. Did I mention I’m also a bit clumsy?

Yeah Red hair. It was a phase.

Yeah Red hair. It was a phase.


9 thoughts on “Let’s get personal

  1. Good for you! I think being yourself is the only way to really connect with people. It’s hard, and it can feel dangerous, but why would people want to hang out with the cardboard cut-out versions of us, right?

  2. That was very brave of you to open up Kayla. It sounds like you’ve considered it very thoughtfully. The internet is an interesting and evolving place. I wish you luck and safe travels as you now surf in a more open manner.

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